runnin' down a dream.

6 a.m. tomorrow: 61 degrees, 90% humidity
6 p.m. tomorrow: 62 degrees, 58% humidity
I’m so glad it’s cooled off this week. I’ll run in the 60s over the 90s any day!

While grocery shopping tonight, my mom asked my opinion on various foods, put things away when I pointed out high sodium/sugar content, and asked my opinion on sparkling juice. We started talking about soda, and her last one was almost two months ago!! So proud. She has an extremely stressful weeklong event coming up at work and knows she’ll be tempted to grab a soda, so she’s planning ahead with an alternative.

I decided not to run this morning.

A full week of work at my new job, one major event, 2 10+ hour days, followed by waking up at 6:15 to run for an hour on Saturday morning, a two hour drive and a jam-packed day, a bachelorette party, taking care of friend who got sick at said party (on me in the cab, oh joy), finally getting to sleep around 2:45, then waking up at 6 to go to the 500.

Did I see several of my closest friends, have a new experience, and have an overall fantastic weekend? Yes. Was I pushing my limits? Yes. 

It’s hard for me to recognize this. I have a zest for life that can be exhausting if not properly managed. It’s one of the things that I love most about myself, but it also presents some issues. It’s why I can spend full weeks working and enjoy very busy weekends, but it’s also why I occasionally crash and want to spend entire weekends lazing around reading or watching tv. Finding a good balance is even more difficult right now because most of my friends live at least an hour’s drive away from me, so I feel like I need to see as many of them as possible and make the most of my social time because I can’t afford to make those drives all the time.

I am tired. I haven’t gotten used to going to bed earl(ier) yet, so many nights I’m up late and every day I seem to wake up earlier. I don’t do naps unless I’m sick and somewhere in the past 2 years I’ve lost the ability to sleep past 9:30. 

But Chicago is looming ever closer, and I need to take care of myself mentally as well as physically. I am so competitive with myself, always wanting to do better, which is mostly good, but it does have a darker side: injuries. I compare myself to other runners, forgetting that we are not normal and none of us are superheros [yet.] You all inspire me to challenge myself every day, which is one of my favorite things about this place. But once again, I need to learn to listen to my own body…a lesson that I’ve had to learn so many times now that I may need to tattoo it onto my wrist! 

My lower back has been hurting on the left side for over a week. My left IT Band has a nasty knot, my left calf is tight, and my knee has been bothering me. I’ve been foam rolling, stretching, and icing, which has helped somewhat, but last night I was Googling these issues when I noticed that the same word kept coming up over and over again, a word that I hate: overtraining. 

Hmm. I’ve been bad about rest days lately, and I’ve increased my strength training and running consistently although I haven’t been getting enough sleep. Hydration and nutrition have become a bit crazy as I’ve been trying to adjust to my new job. Being a mostly wheat free guest at other people’s homes has presented some problems, so for most of the weekend I subsisted on Clif bars and whatever else I could eat that was being served. Yup, overtraining could definitely be an issue…again. 

The last thing I want is to get to Chicago and not be able to run, so if that means cooling it a bit now, fine. Training plans are guides, not rules. I’ve been so caught up in getting to the point of being able to complete every step of my first long run before training begins that I’ve been purposefully ignoring things that could create problems in the long run if I don’t do a better job of taking care of them now. It’s time to take the pressure off of myself and accept the idea that run/walking the long runs is probably the smarter option at this time.

When I signed up in February, I was training for my first half, which didn’t happen thanks to injuries. I thought that I would be able to take a week off from running and then jump into marathon training earlier this month with plenty of time to prepare. Unfortunately, that’s not the way things have gone, and I’m feeling very under prepared. I know I can do it, I just need to accept the fact that it’s not going to be fast.

There will always be more marathons. I will definitely PR my second.